Nick Cave Jokes
Liking Nick Cave is like getting caught reading your own poetry at a funeral.
Nick Cave sounds like Dracula got divorced and immediately bought a piano.
Every Nick Cave song begins somewhere between “the rain fell” and “God has abandoned me,” then somehow gets less cheerful.
Nick Cave could sing the instructions on a fire extinguisher and make you feel responsible for the fire.
I like Nick Cave, but only in private. Some music is between you, God and your browser history.
Nick Cave is what happens when a goth kid survives adolescence but refuses to surrender the coat.
His music makes you want to stare through a rain-covered window even when you are sitting in a Wendy’s.
Nick Cave has spent 40 years proving that absolutely anything can sound profound if you say it slowly enough in a baritone.
A Nick Cave love song is just a murder ballad where everybody happens to survive.
Most singers write about heartbreak. Nick Cave writes like heartbreak has retained legal counsel.
Listening to Nick Cave is the musical equivalent of lighting one candle and suddenly taking yourself much too seriously.
Nick Cave never sounds like he lost his car keys. He sounds like the keys were taken from him as punishment for the sins of his fathers.
You put on one Nick Cave song and ten minutes later you have somehow inherited a ruined mansion.
Nick Cave can make ordering a coffee sound like the final transaction between man and God.
I respect Nick Cave enormously. I just don’t want anyone walking in while I’m respecting him.
There is a specific kind of embarrassment in enjoying Nick Cave because half your brain is moved and the other half is yelling, “Oh, come on.”
Nick Cave is Leonard Cohen for people who thought Leonard Cohen needed more thunder.
Every Nick Cave album should come with a complimentary black shirt and a complicated relationship with Catholicism.
The safest way to listen to Nick Cave is alone, at night, with enough plausible deniability that nobody can prove you were enjoying it.
Nick Cave does not enter a room. He arrives carrying the moral consequences of something that happened there in 1873.